ugh basically I wish I knew more people with similar problems to mine on tumblr. preferably ones only a few degrees removed from me. other disorders seem to be way more communal and networked so why not mine. am I looking in the wrong places. do I have to make those places myself
I’m just…annoyed because there’s a good chance I’m going to…do or say things which aren’t harmful but may be looked at as a bad thing and the only real explanation for them will be my brain problems. and that WON’T WORK because nothing I can say can convey the emotion properly. sane people’s ability to relate to things like depression or anxiety is almost entirely due to them going “oh, I’ve been sad. oh, I’ve been anxious. oh, I felt stressed like that one time.” but the essential stuff behind what I feel is…I’m pretty sure it’s a distinct emotion from anything there are words for. it’s…not something people generally /feel/. all the metaphors and comparisons in the world can’t get at the fundamental truth of it. just like any distinct emotion, I suppose. you either feel it or you don’t. it’s just…very frustrating to be put in this position.
a really natural feeling is that you can just explain yourself to people if what you’re doing looks bad or weird. but if you’re neuroatypical then usually the best you can get from that is people thinking they can relate to you with their shabby watered-down versions of your emotions. it’s so much better to hide things and lie 99% of the time because the last thing you want is the people around you seeing you as frightening. I’m glad my ability to lie has set me up nicely for a life of pretending to be sane in everyday situations
I’m starting to think I should have a more private blog. there’s posts I want to make that I only want friends to see. well, it’s mostly things I don’t want sane people to see
domestic disputes: “im not going to buy you a 21 inch kukri sixten you don’t know how to use it and it is a terrible idea. im not going to buy you a thrower axe either”
literally thats all anyone would need to tell me to get me to hate john green
"did you know in one of his books the two main characters make out in the anne frank house"
thats literally making out with someone at a holocaust memorial that’s awful what the fuck
especially in the context of the scene, like they act like they’re Taking It Back For True Love bc no one else appreciates the anne frank house in the right way, i love when white christians reclaim holocaust memorials
#racism #star trek is really racist and like .5 people talk about it??? likeee??? klingons???????? even if u dont wanna recognize that klingons are inherently racist as a species and concept: most of them are white people in #blackface
i literally didn’t know that worf was an actor wearing blackface until arm mentioned it to me a few days ago and i’ve been Pissed ever since, both for the fact of it and because No One Frickin Talks About This
No One Talks about the ferengi, either, lmao, even though they were literally declared subhuman by Magic Energy Alien Arbitrators, nothing problematic about that combined with what they represent, lol, Nah,
i love how Progressive star trek is,